What’s in a name? A lot, in MLS (Take 2)

When word wafted into the public consciousness last week that the Kansas City Wizards might be changing their name, I found myself in a rather unexpected position: defensive of a name that is, by all accounts, ridiculous. Sure, the name “Wizards” evokes all of the bouncy-castle, soccer-mom provincialist “sawker” stereotypes that MLS is trying to move beyond… but Sporting Kansas City? Real Kansas City? Kansas City FC? These are even more ridiculous. They’re artificial monikers, transplanted from a faraway place, meant to install a veneer of authenticity.

The Beckham Question

Will he or won’t he? The “he” is, of course, David Beckham; the action is, of course, staying with AC Milan rather than returning to the LA Galaxy; and the answer, of course, is yes. To any MLS fans who were salivating at the thought of seeing Mr. Posh trot around your local pitch sometime this summer… well, sorry. Good luck getting tickets to the San Siro, though.

Of course, nothing is confirmed yet… and as Kaka’s surprising decision to turn down astronomical sums of money to play at Man City proves, anything is possible in soccer. Oh wait, didn’t he turn down those millions of dollars to stay at AC Milan? Hmm. Okay, so, yeah, let’s just assume for the sake of argument (and this post) that Beckham’s short tenure in Major League Soccer is finished. What, exactly, does this mean for the league and the sport on this continent (its two northernmost countries, at least)?