Some Canadian Guys reveal true identities

After almost two years of blogging under the monikers Squizz, Grant and Jamie, Some Canadian Guys Writing About Soccer have decided to lift the cloak of anonymity and reveal our true identities.

In fact, Some Canadian Guys are not people at all. We are an experimental software program currently being developed by researchers at Northwestern University called Stats Monkey. The program was originally designed to write baseball news stories, but due to the worldwide popularity of soccer, researchers also began a larger, secretive undertaking to develop similar software geared towards the beautiful game.

The obscurity of the sport in Canada made this country the perfect launching pad for such a highly speculative project. And as the quality of this site shows, the developers are making painfully slow progress.

What about the podcasts, you ask? Three computer-generated voices, programmed to produce a random stream of soccer-related words, thrown together on one soundtrack.

The Stats Monkey Beta v1.4.4 Soccer edition wants to assures its fellow soccer bloggers (the human ones) that they have nothing to fear from this exciting new technology. At least not until it becomes profitable.


3 Responses to “Some Canadian Guys reveal true identities”

  1. So, you’re not really Avram Grant?

    Actually, I have no proof of any kind Avram Grant isn’t also a robot.

  2. Ah come on now we all already knew you guys were a bunch of monkeys… wait… oh you meant the computer part

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